Monthly Archives: February 2013

Subtleties of the ‘ego’ 自我意識的微妙之處

Part 1 – This article
Part 2

Yesterday Wolfgang gave me an advice that impacted me deeply. He told me that he saw that I am more and more enjoying being asked for advice by people and that that is indeed a beautiful thing, but that I should be careful not to get caught up in teacher-student relationships or to (subtly) create them. What I understood from what he was telling me was that I should not walk the path of the ‘ego’, because on that path I will not create beautiful situations for myself.

This advice came as a shock to me at first because I did not see what caused him to to say this to me. Over the day that shock slowly made way for the fear that I am doing or going to do things that will unnecessarily hurt me. This topic remained on my mind for the rest of the day but I was not able to pinpoint why I still felt startled and fearful.

About three hours ago I woke up and sat down for my meditation practice. I immediately started crying, because I was overwhelmed by sadness and fear. I was observing these emotions and suddenly saw the unmet need from which they were coming. That seeing came in the form of the following thought:

I only want to serve others and not myself. It is true that I have started to serve myself.

It became clear to me that I had started to entertain the idea that I am a teacher. What is really, really interesting is that you can find evidence of that thinking on this blog.

  • At first I was a little bit shy in this thinking, and I wrote “I have been working with one of my ‘students’ on his lack of confidence” in the article No man ever steps in the same river twice.
  • Then a few weeks later I had come to full acceptance of this idea and wrote “Just yesterday one of my students asked me (…)” in the article Traffic light reasoning.

I am truly amazed to see how this thought slowly entered my thinking and speech. It is so subtle that I did not notice it myself! Two things I have learned through this are how subtle the operation of the mind is and how fruitful it is to have friends around you who can help you to see what you have not yet seen.

After my meditation practice I went through a short moment of subtle self-condemnation. I told myself that I had become vain. When I noticed that I was passing judgement on myself, I asked myself a simple question: “What need was being fulfilled by thinking in this way?” That question freed me from judging myself because I discovered that I have a need for self-esteem and respect, and I saw that I was trying to find that in the one place where I will never find it: in others.

This learning experience has given me a deeper understanding into the nature of the ‘ego’ and I will write about that in a follow-up article. To be continued!

Part 1 – 本文
Part 2

昨天沃夫岡(Wolfgang)給了一個對我影響深遠的忠告。他說他看得出來,我越來越享受人們尋求我的建議,而這也的確是一件美妙的事。但是 我應當小心,不要陷入師生關係的圈套,或者不自覺地建立這樣的關係。我從他的話中理解到,我不應該走上「自我意識」或「小我」(Ego)的道路,因為在小我的路上,我無法為自己創迼美好的情境。





  • 一開始,我對這個想法還有持保留態度,所以我在沒有人重複踏入同樣的河流這篇文章寫著:「我和一位『學生』討論缺乏自信的問題。
  • 又過了幾個星期,我開始完全接受這個想法,所以我在紅綠燈思考法這篇文章裡寫著:「昨天我的一位學生問我…





A beggar in disguise 國王還是乞丐?

Here’s a wonderful story that illustrates the point I made in my previous post about inner strength.

A certain king heard news of a master who was dwelling near the woods not far from his palace. When the king heard about the simple lifestyle of the master, who lived as a beggar underneath a tree, he decided that he should pay the master a visit.

When the king arrived, he was pained by the fact that the master was not at all concerned about him. Turning to anger, the king said: “Don’t you know who I am, you foolish man? I am the king of these lands and you are a mere beggar! Show me the proper respects!”

The master smiled, looked up and said: ”Is it not you who is begging for my respects?”

這是一個很棒的故事,它能夠說明我在之前文章 提到的內在力量。





Leaving the fields of gold

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
~ Rumi

Part 1
Part 2 – This article
Part 3
Part 4

Love is the only reason that I have been writing about the attitude of non-judgement recently. Whenever I have left my judgemental thinking behind, I have only found love. And whenever I have interacted with people who left their judgemental thinking behind in that moment, I have only received love. Love makes what Wolfgang calls a meeting from soul to soul possible.

In the quote that starts this article, Rumi mentions a field that can be experienced when we go beyond thinking in terms of right and wrong. According to me, that field our home and the space inside of us where love dwells. Judging, thinking in terms of right and wrong, is the type of thinking that leads us out of that field.

You can verify this for yourself by observing how much love you find inside yourself for that something (or someone) you think to be wrong. You can intellectually understand why we do not find much love for ‘the wrong’, because there is an automatic rejection of that which we think to be wrong. With rejection comes division, whereas love is in unity.

There is very little we need to do to fall in love (again), but there is something we should not-do and that is judging. One important insight that I have had is that we need our inner strength to be free from judgements. To remain aware of our inner strength is therefore the key practice. We forget, and therefore do not use, our inner strength when we search outside ourselves that which is inside ourselves.

Here is one example of that. I once went out shopping with a married couple. Both partners are very sincere students of life and spirituality. It just so happened that the husband wanted to buy a lottery ticket on this day, and it was met with immediate disapproval of his wife. I asked her what was the matter and she replied:
“He’s been on the spiritual path for a long time and he’s still buying lottery tickets!”
She could see that I was very amused by her answer and she asked me why. I told her that I suddenly had this absurd image in my mind of an absent-minded God saying to her husband:
“You are not my son anymore because you have bought a lottery ticket! I will not enlighten you now!”
Luckily she also found this image quite amusing and I believe she has since then accepted her husband’s innocent distraction.

The point of the above story is that walking the spiritual path does not mean seeking anyone’s approval, not even (or especially not) God’s approval. Approval implies judgement.

Another way in which we forget our inner strength is when we do not accept our feelings. For example, I sometimes feel hurt when somebody says something to me in an angry tone. If I believe in such a moment that my pain is bad, then I will not listen to it and I will not understand that the pain is coming from within. That is the moment that I begin to resent, blame and/or judge the other; and I might get angry as well. If instead I see the pain as a signal that I was probably in need for some love or understanding, I can also see that in my moment of pain I was seeking that love and understanding in the other. That seeking in the other gives him power over my feelings. If he decides to act in a way that I like, I become happy because I am getting what I need. If he acts in a way that I do not like, I become sad or angry because I’m not getting what I need. The opportunity for me to become judgemental has arisen because I forgot my own strength.

In future articles I will share more of my personal philosophy of love. For now I want to end this article with one my favourite songs, Fields of Gold by Sting. Enjoy.

~ 魯米

Part 1
Part 2 – 本文
Part 3
Part 4

最近之所以持續討論非論斷的態度,其原因不外乎於愛。每當我放下批評式的思考,我總會找到愛。而當我和那些放下批評式思考的人們互動時,我總會接收愛。愛正是沃夫岡所說的靈魂與靈魂的相會 之所以可能的原因。




以下有一個例子。有一次我和一對夫妻一起外出購物。這對夫妻都是靈性修行者。剛好那天,丈夫想要買一張樂透彩票,但他的妻子很快地提出反對。當我問這位妻子為何反對時,她說: 他都已經修行那麼長的時間了,竟然還要買樂透!





在接下來的文章裡,我將會分享更多有我個人對愛的觀點。現在,在文章結尾,我和大家分享一首我最喜愛的歌曲之一:史汀的【黃金之地】(Fields of Gold)


Traffic light reasoning 紅綠燈思考法

Part 1 – This article
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Dear friends,

Just yesterday one of my students rectification asked me one of the classical questions of spirituality. In this article I would like to share our dialogue about that question with you. The question usually goes something like this:

If we do not judge or condemn and instead accept life as it is, how then do we progress?

Me: You just used the word progress. Could you tell me what progress means to you?
Her: Progress to me means feeling happier.

Me: What I understand from what you say is that it is your opinion that it is good to feel happy and that it is bad to feel unhappy. That is not my opinion.
Her: Because life is a process and not a finished product?

Me: That is indeed a statement I have made, but I would like to make the meaning of this statement more clear to you.
You: OK.

Me: When we believe that feeling negative feelings is bad, we do not understand that life is actually communicating with us through our feelings.

If I would compare feelings to a traffic light, your statement would be equal to saying that it is good when the traffic light is green and bad when it is red. If it would really be the case that a green traffic light is good, it would be best if all traffic lights are green at all times. But I think it is easy to imagine that that situation would lead to chaos.

The truth is that neither the green nor the red light are good or bad. They are just signals used to communicate with us. When the traffic light is green it indicates to us that it is safe for us to continue our journey. When it is red it indicates to us that it is unsafe for us to continue. On the other hand, if we ignore the signals we are likely to create unpleasant situations for ourselves. Neither braking at a green light nor passing through a red light is safe.

It is much like this with our feelings. Positive feelings are an indication that we are ‘on the right path’, negative feelings indicate that we are not. Therefore negative feelings are not bad, they are our guides that help us to become aware of a situation, both within and without, that requires change.

The point is to accept everything, but that does not mean you should not change anything.

One thing that I would like to clarify further is the difference between pain and suffering. According to me pain is pain, while suffering is pain upon pain. If you ask me, pain is unavoidable but suffering is only due to our misunderstanding of a situation.

Pain upon pain means experiencing more negative feelings because we are experiencing negative feelings. If you would like a concrete example of this, I have talked about how I created pain upon pain for myself in one of my previous articles: Two wings to fly.

Part 1 – 本文
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4





: 當我們相信負面情緒是不好的,我們並未理解,人生更透過我們的情緒,與我們溝通。