Monthly Archives: April 2013

The nature of the ego

Part 1
Part 2 – This article

I briefly touched upon the subject of self-fulfilment during last Sunday’s workshop. That in turn reminded me of this article about the ego, which I have been wanting to write for a while but had almost completely forgotten about.

Some years ago I had a realisation that whenever we are looking for something outside ourselves, we are not giving that something to ourselves. If, for example, I am looking for a person to love me, it means that I am not giving myself enough love. This is true for all the other basic needs that are rooted in love, such as respect, attention, appreciation, meaning, etc.

To give ourselves these basic needs, in other words to fulfil ourselves, we need to realise that we are the source of these basic needs. When we do not realise that we, ourselves, are the source of love, life becomes more difficult to enjoy. Our behaviour becomes more externally oriented, because that is where we are seeking fulfilment. This ‘additional’ externally oriented behaviour is what is often perceived as caused by the ‘ego’. It is for example when we are seeking appreciation from others that we start boasting to others about ourselves, become vain, or some other behaviour that is associated with the ego.

I often thought the ego is some sort of thing inside me before I had this insight into it. I started to believe that the ego is something that is preventing me from experiencing ‘enlightenment’ and that it needs to be curtailed, controlled or defeated. I now realise that this approach to the ego is useless, because the ego is not a thing and so you cannot battle it. It is correct that it seems like the ego is unbeatable, for the simple reason that it does not exist. I experienced relief when I understood this.

The ego is simply a misunderstanding or misbelief about who and what we are. We are the source of all the basic human needs and my experience is that we start experiencing this more when we start to act according to that understanding.

Those who are familiar with Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras can compare the explanation in this article to his explanation of the kleshas. Patanjali says that ignorance of our true nature (avidya) is the root cause of all suffering and that ‘I-ness’ (asmita) is a product of this ignorance.

Part 1
Part 2 – 本文

中文版本稍後提供。

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14/04/2013 – Beyond judgements 台南一日工作坊:超越批評

The insights that I have gained on the attitude of non-judgement have been among the most useful and practical to my personal development. That is the reason that here, on this blog, I have written a number of articles on this subject.

In the period that I have been writing these articles I have also been experimenting a lot with the ideas presented in them, and I have become confident that those ideas can serve as an important foundation of the personal philosophy of many people. That’s why I have been busy with trying to develop a one-day workshop around the subject of going beyond judgements.

On April 4th I will conduct this workshop for the very first time, in Tainan City, Taiwan. The feedback on this workshop will help me to further develop my ideas on how to conduct a workshop on this specific subject in the future.

Details on the April 4th workshop, such as costs, location and schedule can be found in Chinese via the following link: Beyond Judgements (April 4th, Chinese).

General details on the workshop can be found in English via the following link: Beyond Judgements (General, English).

對於非論斷態度的觀察,是對我個人成長而言最有用也最實際的收穫之一。那也是為什麼,在我的部落格裡,我寫了多篇有關這個主題的文章。

在發表網誌文章的期間裡,我也試著實驗文章裡提到的想法,我也感到越來越有信心,這些想法可以在許多人生命中建立個人哲學的重要基礎。這也就是為什麼我一直試著發展出以超越批評為主題的一日工作坊。

4月14日,我將在台南舉行第一次的超越批評一日工作坊。有關這次工作坊的意義與建議,將會進一步幫肋我發展出關於這個主題工作坊的更多想法。

有關這次工作坊的細節,如費用、地點以及課程表等中文資訊,可參考以下連結:Beyond Judgements (April 4th, Chinese)

相關英文資訊,請參考以下連結:Beyond Judgements (General, English)

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Rumified – Exploring my destiny Rumified – 探索自己的命運

There is a saying, or perhaps it is a quote, which goes

“If you can’t do what you love, love what you do.”

I appreciate this quote because it summarises an attitude or approach towards life that I aspire to. My interpretation of this quote is that our first attempts should be to try to do what we feel passionate and excited about. If life is not arranged in such a way that doing those things is possible in this moment, then we should at least feel passionate ad excited about those things that are possible now.

I emphasised the word ‘first’ in my interpretation, because up to a few months ago in my life I have exclusively focused on the second part of the quote. Over time, I increasingly found myself advising other people to discover what they are passionate about in life and to be creative in finding ways to incorporate their passions in their livelihood and day-to-day activities. That naturally led me to question whether I was actually following my own advice.

I was not.

So I quickly thought of the moments when I was most in awe, most inspired, most excited. These feelings often arise in me when I see peace descend in others, or when I see them gaining insights that are important to their lives, or when their negativity is making way for positivity. I enjoy observing it, and I enjoy it when I can be a part of it.

With this becoming clear to me, and with me getting increasingly less satisfaction from my technical work, I decided that I need to try to design a future for myself in which I will be working with people instead of computers. I want to do more with the insights that I am sharing on this blog in my daily life. This does not mean that I’m in a rush to change my job in the next second, because I find stability in my life important; but it is clear to me that I will be changing my job sometime in the future.

My first step has been to get a formal position as an (in-house) coach at my employer. I had already been doing coach-like work informally and this seemed to be a very natural next step to me. I’m happy to say that my employer has given me this position now, and that I already feel more satisfied because I have more time to spend on activities that I find deeply meaningful.

My next step, which might take a few years to complete, is to move into coaching and consultancy on a full-time basis. This combined with some advice that Wolfgang has given Elly and me in the past, is the reason that Elly and I have started our own consultancy called Rumified. I want to gradually build a stable foundation for myself via this consultancy, so that I can complete my career switch at some point in the future. I invite you to visit the website of our consultancy at www.rumified.com.

I do not know what the future holds for us, but what I can say is that I am very happy with the steps that I am taking now.

有句俗語,或是名句是這麼說的:

「若你不能做你所愛的事,那麼就去愛你所做的事。」

我之所以欣賞這句話,是因為它將我所希望採取的生命態度做了一個總結。我對於這句話的詮釋是: 首先,我們應該嘗試做我們感到有熱情且興奮的事情。但如果人生安排並未讓我們在當下能夠做這些事情,那麼我們至少應該對於那些目前可行的事情,抱持熱情與興奮。

我之所以在我個人的詮釋中強調「首先」,是因為直至幾個月前,我的生命一直僅專注於這句引言的第二部分。我發現自己越來越常建議別人,去找出他們感到有熱情的事情,並且運用創意,將他們的熱情和維持生活的工作與日常生活結合在一起。很自然地,這使得我開始詢問自己,是否也依循這樣的建議。

我沒有。

因此我很快地回想起我感到最受啟發、最興奮的時刻。這些感覺經常在我看見平靜降臨他人身上,或者當他人獲得重要的人生觀察時,或者當他們的負面情緒漸漸消失,正面能取而代之時出現。我享受觀察這樣的過程,也享受我能成為這過程的一部分。

隨著這點發現,以及我對自己的技術性工作感到越來越不滿足,我決定我需要為自己設計一個未來,一個我能夠和人們共同分享,而非與電腦共事的未來。我想要更進一步運用我在部落格上分享的日常生活觀察與洞見。這並非意謂著我急著馬上換工作,因為我認為穩定的生活也是重要的,但我很清楚,在未來我將會另尋出路。

我踏出的第一步是正式擔任我目前公司的內部成長教練。一直以來我己經多少擔任這樣的工作,而這個職位似乎是很自然的一步。我很高興我的雇主在此時給我這樣的機會,同時,因為我有更多時間從事我認為非常有義的事情,我也因此感到更加滿足。

我的下一步可能要花上幾年的時間才能達成,我希望能夠從事全職的成長教練與顧問工作。這個期望,再加上過去沃夫岡給我和Elly的一些建議,是我和Elly之所以開始名為Rumified的顧問公司的原因。我希望能夠透過這個顧問公司,慢慢地為自己建立一個穩固的基礎,然後在將來全心投入顧問工作。在此,我邀請大家參觀我們的顧問公司網站: www.rumified.com.

我不知道我們的將來會如何,但我可以說,我對自己目前所走的路感到十分開心。

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